Wrath of 1000 Menstrual Cycles
by Rainy Day Anime
Summary: Peter Kirkland is angry that Arthur and everyone else refuses to recognize him as a country. Now he knows just how to get back at them for everything; magic. But what happens when one of the spells goes horribly wrong? Why are the female nations acting so mean? And why does Liechtenstein have a machine gun? Rated T for Language and a crying Russia
1. And So It Begins

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters portrayed in this fan fiction and do not in any way think that men should be assaulted by woman. I do however find it hilarious. This is my first fan fiction so please leave comments.

Wrath of 1000 Menstrual Cycles

"It's not fair!" shouted the small micro nation; stupid Arthur always kicking me out of his stupid meetings. Just because I was small didn't mean he wasn't any less of a country. At least that's what I kept keep telling himself. Nobody saw Sealand as a country, always as Peter Kirkland or Arthur's little brother. Now if only I could get the others to accept me then things would be great.

I could finally rub it in that British bullies face and tell him to "suck it bitch," although saying that would probably lose any respect the other nations had for me, which by all counts was...well...none .

At least I had Raivis to help support him, as long as it wasn't in front of his overlord Ivan and Lily too I suppose, she was really nice and would more than willing to help support me if I asked.

However her brother Vash probably wouldn't like the idea but so long as she was happy about it, he wouldn't do anything. On the other hand I was pretty sure I would be the next target should I ever come within 5 feet of his beloved little sister.

To be honest the way they act together is sort of...creepy. They care for each other a little more than siblings should. Suddenly remembering the time where I found the Swiss man on top of his sister in a...strange position, the excuse being that they tripped and fell on each other .

Ha whatever, since when does it take five minutes to get off someone? Not to mention it looked like their faces were getting closer. But it was probably none of my business. To be honest I did want to ask the principality about what happened, but how do you even ask a question like that?

Then there was Raivis, I'm not sure what his Russian ruler would do if he helped me. He doesn't look all that scary really, a bit creepy but not all that scary. It's just that smile he has, it makes him look so...demented.

Raivis would always say something like "Mr. R-russia w-wouldn't like that" or "Mr. R-russia is very scary" or "Please don't tell Mr. R-russia I'm here." It's strange that whenever Russia was brought into the conversation the Latvian would always stutter, never even saying his boss's full name. Always "Mr. Russia"

If there were one thing scary about the Russian, it was his family. His little sister Natalia or Belarus for those who prefer having their genitals attached to there person, had to be the most scariest and most evilest thing ever to crawl out of Mordor.

When Berwald adopted me...well...bought me of eBay people would say that the Swede was the scariest thing in the world. But it turned out he was nice and very polite to me. A bit odd though, he kept on calling his friend Tino his wife. When asking Berwald he said "I'll tell you when you're older" and when asking Tino he said "I have no idea."

But at least the man was nice, Natalia on the other hand didn't seem to have a good bone in her body. She was mean to almost everyone, which is why she was so feared by...well...EVERYONE. I saw her talking to Lilly once though, neither of looked angry or upset so I guess she's part of the select few who Natalia won't murder.

I heard Alfred say that she must wake up every morning to bowl of "Cream of instant Bitch." Is it possible such a thing exists? If so then Arthur should stop taking it.

She was like something parents would use to scare their kids so they'd behave. "If you don't be good, the Natalia-man will get you." I told that joke to Arthur and was able to get a laugh out of him. He still threw me out of the meeting but at least I knew it was funny.

Then there was Yekaterina aka Katyusha or Ukraine if you prefer, she was Russia's older sister. To be honest she seems real nice, always polite and caring. Although those massive melons she has gets her a lot of unwanted attention. At least she not stalking her brother asking him to marry her (cough cough Natalia cough)

But being Russia's sister she obviously has some sort of problems, mainly her constant crying. I swear I bumped into her once and she started bawling for no reason, kept on saying "I'm sorry" over and over again for about half an hour...ok maybe not that long but it still. I mean I'm the one who bumped into her so shouldn't I be the one saying that? I'll never understand girls.

But now that crumpet sucking Arthur is going to regret the day he said Sealand wasn't a country. I will get my revenge on him if it's the last thing I do, which it probably will because I am too lazy right now to think of a good idea.

**Alright that was my very first page for my very first fan fic :D. I already have an idea on what's going to happen with extra appearances from different characters in the show. Please comment, rate, bitch, complain or whatever you want to do. **


	2. Deadly Cuisine

**Ha it's great to finally be back and writing again. I'm sorry for those who were expecting me to write again so soon, but I got distracted with a lot of things mainly school and chronic laziness. I'm more experienced with various writing styles and found out some flaws in my last chapter so I hope to improve in this one. Please enjoy**

Finally, after days of thinking and planning and taking small breaks I have found a perfect way to exact my revenge on that British bitch. It is so perfect, so ingenious, so incredibly awesome that the after effect will send that tea sucking chump to tears. Sealand WILL be recognized as a country. Of course there have been many other...less successful ideas.

My first idea was to trick everyone into eating that Brits cooking, no one except of me and America can stomach that sort of garbage so it was a great idea...at the time anyways. My plan was simple, take out the lunch the other countries brought and slip in some scones I made (with some help from Lily) instead.

I was so excited to see what would happen, to watch as everyone would hold their sides in pain and run into the bathroom while swearing at the creep. To see the allies dump Arthur from the G8 and make fun of him. Grant it wasn't a way to help me become a country, but it would be worth it.

I waited for everyone to take their lunch break so I can see the magic happen. At first it was sooo perfect. Everyone was angry that someone had thrown out their lunch (which were very tasty by the way) and replaced it with they thought to be poison.

Everyone ran up to Arthur and started screaming at him for why they had scones in their bags instead of their regular food. The look on his face was PRICELESS. If I had a camera I would replay it over and over again and never stop laughing. His face was all red from embarrassment and shame that I thought he looked like Romano's tomatoes.

But out of nowhere the strangest thing happened. "Veeee~ this tastes wonderful. It's not as good as pasta but it's doesn't taste like death either." The small micro nation stood there, jaw dropped. Someone had ACTUALLY tried some of the scones I made. Nobody tried to eat British food, not after what happened to China. Oh the things that happened to that man...I can't even begin to imagine the horror of what he did to that bathroom. All I know is that they had made it a special rule that Britain was never EVER aloud to bring in food under any circumstances. China would have started another war if America and France hadn't intervened. Strange that Russia was actually for the idea, but whatever.

The room grew silent, no one even understood what just happened. Someone actually liked Arthurs cooking!? It can't be true, who in their right mind could even think such a thing. But never the less it was said, and all the countries turned and stared at the one country no one would have expected to hear, North Italy. The pasta loving country was sitting happily, munching on a scone as if it was an mid day snack, completely oblivious to all the stares that were now locked on him.

"What the hell is wrong with you, you dumb bastard?!" shouted the embodiment of South Italy. "Did eating all the food from potato bastard really destroy your taste buds?! Are you insane?" Romano's face was beat red from anger; not at Italy but at Germany. "You," he pointed at Germany, "this is all your fault you stupid potato bastard. What did you do to mess my brother up so bad eh?" The German looked up to the older Italy brother "Nein, I did nothing to Italy, I can't even get him to eat wurst"

Unfortunately, the elder brother thought it would be good idea to grab a hidden tomato he had and chuck it at Germany, hitting right in the face. The now furious German walked over and punched the Italian square in the jaw, before turning around and kicking Spain right in the dink bag, making the Spanish man fall down crying. He knew well enough that the Spaniard would step in to protect his "little tomato" and he didn't want to put up with that now.

"Are you alright Italy-kun? Do you feel sick?" Japans normally stoic face expressed his worry that Italy might have some deadly disease. There is no way anyone other than Arthur could eat British food and not have to get their stomach pumped. Even China was freaking out, having had personal experienced in dealing with Britain "cuisine" "Aiyah! What have you done to Italy?"

While everyone was fighting over what to do with the possible false Italy, Arthur decided to see what was in these scones. He knew that he didn't make them, everyone agreed to ban his cooking from meetings after what happened to China. He picked up a scone that was in front of America and the ones he had sneaked in for himself. The tastes were incredibly different, while his were black as coals and was as appetizing as a turd wrapped in band aids, the other ones were soft and delicious, like a freshly made biscuits made in heaven that were covered in delicious butter and blessed by angels.

Arthurs expression was that of complete disgust. How dare someone destroy his ancient family recipe for creating extremely painful diarrhea. "Who bloody idea was it to make this shit?" shouted the obviously livid British man. " Whatever wanker made these I will be sure to give them a what for."

Now this surprised everyone, if Britain didn't like them but Italy did then they couldn't be all bad right? America grabbed a nearby scone and took a small bite out of it, grabbing a bucket just in case.

What he tasted wasn't like anything he expected, it actually tasted like food, better yet it tasted good. There was no way Britain made these. After America had one then soon enough everyone else started to slowly try theirs and too much of their surprise, no body ran to the bathroom. It did a lot of convincing for China to take a bite but when he did the Chinese man was satisfied. Although everyone agreed that there was no way in hell that Arthur made these, considering they could actually eat the food.

"Well shit" Sealand just stared in complete disbelief "that wasn't what I was expecting at all." I was so sure that everyone was going to throw Arthur out a window, or in the puke bucket when everyone was done. Stupid Lily and her awesome cooking, that's the last time I ask her to help cook something nasty, maybe next time I'll ask Raivis.

Well that was my first of the fifty other plans I tried, but I'm just going to focus on the newest plan instead of figuring out what happened with the rest. If this plan doesn't go well I swear I will go off like Arthur on his everyday period, Raivis better not mess this up.

**Well that's the end of the chapter. Sorry it was so long but the second I started writing it I couldn't help but go into more detail. I'm not going to do that again, instead I'll just skip to the good part next chapter. So like before comment, rate, bitch, review, anything that will help improve my writing will be appreciated.**


	3. Poor Latvia

**Hey everyone I'm back and I have the next chapter up and ready. It's the longest one so far and it might be a different style of writing then in my last two chapters. Just something I wanted to try to see if it looked well, if it doesn't then I'll change it back. But anyways I hope you enjoy.**

"Why am I here Peter? What's this all about?" asked the now irritated Raivis.

The Latvian had been called during one of his chores for Russia and had to be "disciplined" for" ignoring his duties". Although a bit curious as to what the small boy wanted it didn't change the fact that he was pissed for getting in trouble.

"You know I can't answer the phone when I'm working. M-M. R-Russia always gets angry whenever we ignore him."

Now the normally timid little Raivis was staring to get more and more agitated the more he thought about what happened. Raivis had been in charge of preparing lunch for his master; nothing to hard considering he doesn't really eat anything besides borsch or vodka, but it was important all the same. When he had finished preparing the meal he started to walk towards Ivan's office, trying to stop trembling so as to not drop the food, only to be surprised by a random phone call. It scared him so much he tripped and fell, spilling all the food on the only people Raivis was truly afraid of besides Russia; Belarus and Ukraine.

Belarus's had taken all the vodka to the face and was now rubbing her eyes in an effort to see again; her dress and apron had been drenched in the alcohol causing a small puddle to form under her and she practically reeked of vodka and cream of bitch, so much so that he could've smelled it from another room.

Ukraine on the other hand had to suffer the stains on her clothes from the borsch he spilled. The red color cold soup had fallen all over the older sister causing her shirt to reveal a whole lot of what she had underneath.

Just seeing Ukraine like she was; her face full of tears, her blouse soaked with red soup, her massive fun bags bouncing every which way whenever she would take deep breathes to calm herself, was enough to make any guy think dirty thoughts.

_" Oh sweet god I want to motorboat those things so bad right now."_

He couldn't help but stare at her; it was almost hypnotizing the way her boobs jiggled, like they were drawing him in, controlling his mind as to see them bounce over and over and over again. For a moment just the sight in front of him was enough to block out all the troubles he had.

However, like anything else that happened to him it was only temporary. By this time Belarus had been starting to regain some of her vision, although it was still a blur and Ukraine was starting to dry her eyes to do the same.

_" I could really use Torris right now, at least they would go after him instead of me."_

Raivis felt bad for wishing his friend to show up just to take the fall, but right now he didn't really give a crap, as long as he was able to keep his manhood intact, he'd get over it.

"Latvia what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting Russia his food?"

Like a gift from god, Raivis saw his Lithuanian friend across the hallway holding a large basket full of laundry. Finally something was going his way for a change, now it was time to get the Lithuanian to take the bait

"_Please forgive me Torris."_

"Oh hey... um... Torris can you come here for a sec? I need your help with something."

As his friend slowly started walking toward him, Natalia was just able to see a vague figure in front of her, the same happening to Ukraine. Finally after taking his sweet time to get to him, Raivis bolted across the hallway and into the closest room he could find, not even telling his friend what happened. It didn't really matter though; he'd be finding out in about 5...4...3...2-

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL." "_Wow, that was a lot faster than I expected" _

He could assume that both sisters had finally regained their vision because all he could hear was the screeching battle cry from Natalia and Katyusha crying in the background, with the horrible screaming coming from Torris. It sounded like she was brutally beating him with a hammer or something because all he heard was the sound of cracking bones.

Torris had told him once that she had broken all his fingers on their first date, which by the way only lasted three seconds. So whether she beating him with something or just using her raw strength he didn't care to know. Honestly he didn't even need to look to know that Natalia was basically tearing his friend a new butthole.

"Hello little Latvia, you brought me my food da?"

Raivis froze, it didn't take a genius to figure out who was behind him or realize the amount of trouble he'd be in once Russia found out he forgot to bring his food.

_" I am so boned!"_

He couldn't tell his boss that he spilled his food because of a phone call all over his two psychotic siblings, that would just be begging for an butt kicking_._

_"Oh man, Russia is going to freaking pound my ass! I need to come up with something now" _

Ignoring the fact that what he thought sounded really...really wrong, Raivis quickly searched the contents of his mind to find a good enough excuse for the now impatient Russian.

"Latvia I specifically sent you to get me some food. Why do you show up with nothing?"

The smiling man stood up and started to walk toward him.

"You will have to be punished da?"

Russia reached into his coat and pulled out his trusted pipe, which seemed to instill fear in even the strongest of nations. Everybody feared Ivan on some level, even Germany wouldn't stand up to him, lest he be smacked down like so many others. Passed that smiling Russian face was that of a complete psycho that, on more on one occasion, had caused him to piss himself.

"Now I will ask again Raivis, why do you return to me with no food? Was I not clear with my order? Were you not paying attention?"

The man was now right in front him, staring down and trying to be intimidating; it was working, oh god it was working.

"Well you see theirs a funny story about that um...well...uh..."

Latvia desperately trying to come up with a convincing story to save himself.

"uh..well I was walking to you room with your favorite borsch and vodka..."

This seemed to get Ivan's attention, making him lower his pipe a bit.

"Yes go on, what happened next?"

Now he needed to figure out what to say to appease his master

"Well...um... you see...uh...I ran into Estonia."

_"Shit" _

Russia looked confused "Estonia?"

Well he was already this far, might as well go all the way.

"Yeah Estonia, I was just walking down the hall when he just bumped into me all of a sudden, didn't even say he was sorry, he just ran on by saying that he better things to do then waste time on you"

Russia stood there, not moving, not saying anything, just stood there. Then he did something that was totally strange, even for him. He started to laugh, as if it was a funny joke rather than a painfully truthful insult. Raivis didn't think he said anything funny, but if it stopped that monster from getting closer to him then he was alright with it.

"Ha ha ha you are a very funny guy Latvia, I sent Estonia out 20 minutes ago to get more vodka. I asked him to get about 30 bottles for me, so there is no way he would be here"

Raivis just stood there, jaw dropped, cursing whatever god that put him in this awkward situation

"_ God_ _fucking damn! Guess this what I get for screwing over my friends. Stupid karma." _

Now left with nothing else to say that could save him, Raivis just decided to take like a man and accept his fate... well actually it was more like he took it like a bitch, crying for his mommy in fetal position while Ivan stared, but it was easier to tell himself he was a man. Now all he had to do was wait.

It is a fact that whenever he did something wrong or whenever Ivan ran out of vodka, the man would do his creepy kolkolkolkol chant, take out the pipe he always had on him and proceeded to "punish" his subordinate.

"_Why does he even have that thing? I mean what purpose does he need a freaking faucet pipe?!_"

The worst part was that not only does Russia take it out on him, but also Eduard and Torris and just knowing that makes him feel bad, especially when they'd get angry for his mistakes.

After a few minutes of more creepy laughing Russia calmed down

"So I'm guessing you didn't make my food da? Well then I'm guessing you know what I'm going to do?"

Latvia shook his head, so hard enough that his neck cracked. Not the cool way when someone does it before a fight to look tough, but the lame ass way when you accidently break your neck and get a cramp. It wasn't as if he didn't know what Ivan was capable of, it was just that the Russian liked to experiment on different ways to make his life harder.

" Please M-M-Mr. R-Russia have mer-"

He didn't get to finish before Russia pimp slapped him out the door and into the hall where his sisters were. Torris was nowhere to be seen. Apparently Natalia quickly forgot about her rotten stink and bloody dress and decided to rush Ivan into another marriage proposal. Ukraine just stood there crying again all the while making her knockers bounce. Well at least some good came out of it.

"BIG BROTHER MARRY ME, MARRY ME, MARRY ME, MARRY ME" chanted the still insane Belarus.

Ivan response was running like a little girl crying "GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY."

It reminded him of a poem Peter told him.

"Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can't get away from the Natalia-man. But I will tell you something really sick, if you get near, she'll eat your dick."

So far it's been pretty popular among the other nations, even her brother and sister.

Now here he was standing in front of Peter wondering why he shouldn't be kicking the ass of the small boy. Sealand automatically sensed his friends bad mood and decided to act.

"Wow, who pissed in your cheerios?"

Now he was getting mad

_"Why you little motherfu-"_

Before he think anything more he was cut off.

"Doesn't matter, your here and that's what's important. Now we can finally get down to business."

Peter walked around his little rust bucket he called a country, thinking quite hard.

"Ok and what is this business?" He asked, waiting for an answer.

When the boy didn't say anything, he started to get annoyed.

"You do have a plan right?"

Sealand still remained quite.

"RIGHT?!"

Now to say that he was pissed would be a serious understatement. He looked like he was about to kick his friend right in the head for putting him through hell.

"Oh that right, now I remember. We're going to sneak into Arthurs house and steal his magic books and stuff so that I can become a country."

Raivis just stood there unimpressed, his brain shutting down due to the amount of stupid his friend was making.

"Peter, that is the most retarded plan I ever heard. How exactly will that help you become a country?"

Sealand just looked at him and frowned

"Well first off, fuck you."

_"oh ho ho I am so close to shoving my foot someplace reeeeal special Peter, so keep talking."_

Butonce again he was cut off before he could say anything.

"Second, it's actually quite simple. We steal his books, cast a few spells, and show off my awesome power to the rest of the nations. Then they'll have to accept me as a country"

Once again his brain had shut down because of his retarded friend. There are so many ways this plan can fail that it wasn't even worth trying to list them. But he was too worn out from his day and decided to play along and see where this went, maybe watching Arthur catch him in the act would be revenge enough.

"Alright Peter, I'll play along. So how do you suggest we break into Britain's place? It's not like he's ever gone for very long"

This was true, Arthur never did have much of a social life so he didn't leave the house often except for basic things like food and meetings. In his spare time he would read and eat those rotten turds he calls scones, at least that's what Peter told him. In a way he was a lot like Ivan, neither of them had many friends, both were abusive in their own way, and both were complete douche bags. Needles to say, breaking in to the Brits home maybe harder than Sealand thinks it is.

"Don't worry I got it covered. You just need to act when I give the signal ok? "

He was already starting to regret this.

**Alright guys it's finally finished, I wanted to show everyone how bad Latvia has got it living with Russia (even know it's quite obvious) but it'll come together in the story later. I couldn't think of many funny things to say and I was basically go on and on and on so bear with me. Anyways comment, review, bitch, complain, , anything that'll help me be a better writer. Thanks**


	4. The Spell

**Ok finally the next chapter is up and ready. I hope you guys enjoy it and will give it some good reviews. I do not own Hetalia or rights pertaining to its production. Hope you enjoy :)**

I still can't believe how easy it was to break into to Britain's house. I was expecting dogs, or traps or even some of those guys with the funny hats, but there wasn't anything. To be honest it was a little disappointing. Who'd know that one crank call could get that man sprinting out of the house like his life depended on it. Raivis was right next to me being just as surprised as I am.

"Peter..what exactly did you do?"

I couldn't look at him with a straight face, I was almost crying it was so funny. There was no way he was going to believe this. If I wasn't the one who made the call I wouldn't believe it either.

" I told him that he was getting an award for being the best chef in the world and that everyone was going to show up and tell him how amazing he is."

As expected my friend didn't believe me.

"Oh please, no one would believe that story. Not even Arthur."

That was the surprising part, everybody knows that Arthur didn't know the first thing when it came to cooking. People who have never met him knew that he has no taste, even dogs wouldn't be desperate enough to try his food. Every mistake he made he'd blame it on something other than himself, the stove, the heat in the room, the pans he used, he even blamed me once for distracting him.

I wasn't anywhere near him at the time. I was at Lily's with Raivis talking about how we were going to help Lily surprise her brother. I think it was for a birthday party or something, not like it would matter much. He'd probably just get angry by the fact that two boys were in his house alone with his precious baby sister. Oh wait, scratch that, his step-sister. Thankfully were able to leave before he came home or else me and Raivis might not be here right now.

"Wait, wait, wait that's not event the strangest part. I told him the celebration was being held in Ireland and that the bars would give him drinks for free."

Once again Raivis gave me a strange look.

" I don't get it. Why would getting Arthur to go to Ireland be such a big deal?"

It wasn't surprising that nobody knew. Arthur never got along with anyone besides Japan and, to a small degree, America. Not even his own siblings would give him the time of day, least of which Ireland. If I remember right there was five of us in total, there was me, Peter also known as Sealand, Alistair being Scotland, Dylan being Wales and the Ireland twins Aedan and Aine.

Now if it was to come to a comparison to what the twins were like it would probably be something like the Italy twins, with Northern Ireland being Northern Italy and Southern Ireland being Southern Italy. The only differences being is that southern Ireland is a girl, both didn't cry very much, both were more or less hard workers and both have no taste in cooking. Now that I think about it I'm beginning to see a pattern in our family. Nobody in our family knows how to cook. Right now Arthur and Alistair are tied for which food gave the worst diarrhea.

Now Ireland herself was nice enough, if you took her out for drinks or paid her a compliment then she would treat you well and welcome you into her country with open arms. She would even be nice to Russia if they ever met, mainly because she respects almost anyone who can hold their liquor as well as her. She can drink more than anyone except her older brother Alistair who still remains supreme champion drinker in the world. Why Aine hates Arthur so much wasn't really explained to me, all I know is that when Arthur was little his brothers and sister would pick on him all the time and when he became stronger than them he decided to get revenge by making an example out of Ireland. I was later told he even stole the Northern twin from her as an insult. But that made it strange that he would be happy to go to her country for his non-existing award. Unless I...

_" I forgot to tell him which Ireland"_

Just as well though, it's make much more sense for him to go to Aedan place for an award than Aine's, considering he practically owns Aedan. But I guess I should be answering Raivis question right now. To be honest I almost forgot he was there.

" Well let's just say that when it comes to us, Britain's never been the family favorite."

Raivis shrugged

"Yeah I guess I can see that. How long do you think it's going to be before he realizes what happened?"

Actually that was a good question, it's not like we needed that much time but it'd be best to waste any. Thinking of Arthur walking in on us trespassing would be annoying to say the least, he'd literally throw us out then call us wankers or something.

"I don't know, 10 maybe 15 minutes. Either way we should hurry up and grab the books we need."

Raivis looked surprised, he didn't think I could be serious for once. As we walked into the house we noticed that Arthur had quite a substantial book collection. There was a book case in the living room next to a coffee table and a large comfy chair and as we walked around and searched many of the rooms we noticed that he had books EVERYWHERE. In the living room, dining, room, his study, the bathroom and even the kitchen, although those looked like they haven't been touched in years by the amount of dust that had been collected. Both of us were looking everywhere just trying to find anything that resembled something magical.

"By the way, what books are we getting? What do they look like?"

_" Crap, I hadn't thought about that"_

"Don't worry you'll know them when you see them."

This was going to be a problem, since Arthur didn't enjoy any of my visits I hadn't been able to get close to any of his magic things. I don't even know what they look like. I hope we can find out what they look like and that the words are in English or else this is going to be a major pain.

_"Ok maybe I should have thought this out a bit more, but it's too late now. We're already this far so we just have to use what we got and go from there."_

After what seemed like hours of searching we started to give up, there was simply too many books in too many places that made this almost impossible and by the looks of my friend he was starting to get a bit disappointed.

"Peter, we have been looking forever and we still haven't found anything"

"No, I know he has them somewhere, we just need to find out where."

At this point I was pacing back in forth in the living room just trying to find out if there was someplace we might have missed. There has to be someplace that we overlooked.

"Uh.. Peter do you have to go to the bathroom? Its right down the hall you know."

I must of looked constipated at that moment because I was thinking harder than I have ever thought before. Maybe it could be hidden in one of the cookbooks? No one would ever think to look in their, it'd be the perfect place. But before I could move I heard Raivis say something, but I didn't really hear it .

"Sorry can you repeat that again?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly

My friend just stared at me and sighed

"I said, does Arthur have a basement or something? Maybe an attic?"

Even though my idea with the cookbooks was better than his, I didn't really care so long as we got the books. Besides it'd would most likely be in there considering we checked everywhere else and the dust that was on those books meant that they weren't moved in a long time, so either Arthur finally decided to become sane or they weren't there.

Alright let's check for a basement first, hopefully we can find it befo-

"It's right here"

I looked over to where Raivis was, standing by a door that was only a few feet behind me.

_"How did I not see that?!"_

"Alright let's go!"

Without another thought I ran to the door, threw it open as hard as I could and ran inside. Trouble is the room was dark and apparently had a large staircase as I later found out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"CRASH, BAM, BANG, SWISH,BANG, BOOM!"

I sat there on the ground completely dazed. What the hell just happened!? All I remember was falling, the room spinning and then everything hurting all at once. I must have been messed up bad cause the next thing I knew Raivis was running toward me screaming.

"PETER ARE YOU OK!? ARE YOU HURT!?"

All I could do was look in his direction.

"No I'm quite fine thank you, actually it felt really nic- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?!"

Ok I was a bit angry but can you really blame me

"Just come on and help me up will ya."

It turned out I only had a couple scrapes and bruises, good thing that I'm a country and can heal quickly or else this might be a WHOLE different outcome. Ignoring my pain I looked around to see where we were. It was, in lighter words, creepy. The room itself was dark with the only light being a few candles around the walls, not only that but it was FREEZING in here. Honestly I thought I was going to freeze my stones off if I wasn't so determined to find what I was looking for. Raivis didn't look affected too much, probably from all his time living with Russia.

"Alright now let's look around for the books, or at least a light switch so we can find out where we ar-

*Click*

The room suddenly lit up...well...sort of, it was still dim and hard to see but at least I can tell what was right in front of me without having to be cautious. With the lights on I noticed another book shelf up against the fall wall. It was old and looked like it would break at any second. The books it was holding looked even older but were in surprisingly good condition, maybe this was what we were looking. I really hope so or I just fell down the stairs for nothing.

"Look at these things. They look as old as Arthur is, look better to."

Ok that joke was lame but I didn't care, I was now even more convinced that these were it, the books we trashed the house looking for. Not that I minded breaking some of Arthur's things, I mean the man practically deserved it for all the shit he puts everyone through.

_"Ha ha, stupid Arthur."_

Raivis, who had been strangely quite the whole time finally said

"Peter is this it?"

"Yes Raivis I think it is."

Finally, something good happened, I was seriously starting to get worried for a moment. Now after searching all over the Brits home we finally found it. Now there was the issue of finding out which book to grab.

_"Screw it, just take all of them"_

One by one I grabbed the books and started piling on the Latvians arms. Some of the books were quite heavy so we had to grab only the ones we could hold and maybe come back for the rest later, although getting Arthur to leave the house again will probably take a lot of convincing. But aside from all that it was a huge relief that we were grab most the books, now there was the problem of getting them out of the house without being seen. Walking down the street from Britain's house with a but ton of books in our hands wouldn't leave the best impression. So we decided to put down some of the heavy ones and just grab the small ones to save time.

Thankfully they were only a few small ones, about the size of a small notebooks really, so it was easy enough to carry them. But out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the ground.

_" Another book?"_

It was a small black book, a bit smaller than the ones we had but much older than the rest, just lying on the ground. We probably just knocked it over when we were "borrowing" Arthur's books. Oh well, might as well grab this one too. I tossed it to Raivis to hold onto, it was small enough that he just put it in his pocket.

"Alright let's get out of here before eyebrows comes home"

As we walked toward the door I couldn't help but feel unfinished, like I had forgot to do something. We had what we came for so I have no idea what else there was. Maybe it was because Arthur's house was still way to neat and clean for my taste, enough to see that someone had broken in but not enough for my liking.

"Hey Raivis why don't you run to my place quick and I'll catch up."

The Latvian boy just stood there, unsure of trusting his strange friend alone in his brother's house.

" I have a feeling what you're going to do Peter and I don't want to get involved. Let's just go before Britain gets back."

I knew he was just worried about me but this was an opportunity that I just couldn't pass up. I mean, when else am I going to get a chance to destroy that wankers home? It was now or never and that Brit was certainly going to pay for being a douche bag. Soon all the countries will know and stand in awe at the awesome power that is Sealand.

_"I'll be more awesome than Prussia."_

Not like the albino was cool to begin with but that made it all the easier.

"You worry too much. Arthur not going to find out it was me and even if he does I would tell him to go smooch my big white ass."

CRRRAAASSSHH

The sound of the front door flying open and falling to the floor revealed an absolutely livid Arthur Kirkland. He looked like he was about to foam at the mouth he was so angry, with the vein in his neck sticking out and his fist still clenched from when he punched the door of its hinges.

"THOSE SHIT FACED, INBREED, COCK SUCKING WANKERS. THEY WOULDN"T KNOW FOOD IF IT JUMPED UP AND KICKED THEM RIGHT IN THEIR FUCKING HEADS. I SWEAR IM GOING TO DESTROY THAT LITTLE BRAT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

With that said Britain instantly turned to us, his face showing even more fury than before, If that was even possible.

"YOU! GET YOUR ASS OVER HE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN SHOVE MY BOOT STRAIGHT UP IN IT.

All I could do was just stand in and panic.

_"SHIT! SHIT! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"_

My thoughts racing at a hundred miles a minute to find a way out but with no luck. I turned to Raivis to see if he'd help me. Instead I found a small note on the ground.

Dear Peter

I'm sorry , please forgive me. I hope we can still be friends."

signed

Raivis Galente

It was at that moment that I noticed that a window at the end of the room was wide open.

_"THAT SONOFA BITCH."_

He left me! He really left me! That god damn traitor is getting an ass kicking after this. My thought were interrupted with Arthur grabbing my hand and dragging me to a closet. With a smile that would make that great France wet himself he pulled out a what looked to be a long pointed stick.

_"Oh god "_

Arthur had pulled out a very large switch stick, the one he used to punish me and America with when he was a kid. I remember him bringing it too one of the meetings to get America to behave. For one day, America had nothing to say at the meeting.

My eyes filled with tears as I knew what would happen. With a smile still stuck on that bastards face he laughed.

"I'm really going to enjoy this."

* * *

2 hours later

Peter had returned from his punishment at the hands of the British man. His bottom sore from the whipping he received. After finally catching up to Raivis and kicking him in the dick a few times we had decided to go my room and see if they could cast one of the spells. Since the books I had were taken from him and Raivis had dropped his while he ran away, we took out the little black book and were now looking for a spell. There was only one problem...

They couldn't understand the spells. The words made no sense at all, they could be repeated easy enough but they had no idea what any of the words meant or what the spells did. The only clue they had was a picture that was on some of the pages. After a few minutes of looking we finally found a spell that looked cool.

It was a picture of person holding their sides in pain with another picture of a reaper holding his hand pointing downward on the person above it.

"Ha this looks cool enough."

Oh the possibilities are endless, there is so much we could do with this book. The spell itself looked like a curse. A perfect revenge for that crumpet sucking shithead. Raivis was of course against it, saying that it wasn't really the best idea. After I told him that I'd use it on Ivan if it worked he quickly changed his mind. Now for the show to start.

" Jacquelyn Toya, Tito, Mary,

Dumble Dora the Explora

Lenin, Sawyer, Ringo, Hasting

Dumble Dora the Explora

Margret Thatcher, Izzard, Harry,

Dumble Dora the Explora

I curse you with cramping in your sides

Until your pains are satisfied."

A bright red light appeared in front of us, blinding both me and Raivis and shaking the insides of my room. A loud high pitched noise was heard for a few seconds.

Then all at once it stopped, no movement, no more light, no sound, nothing but a light red mist that covered the floor.

I looked up to Raivis who was standing up against the wall

"You feel anything?"

My friend felt around to see if there was anything different.

"No, how bout you?"

I didn't feel any different maybe it was a dud, I mean the lights and sounds meant we must have done the spell right. So why didn't it work?

Oh well, they didn't really need to know what it did so long as everyone else thought it was cool. At that point I can just say I was showing off my awesome skills and then they'll have to recognize me as a country. Or else they would feel my wrath. After explaining my idea to Raivis he agreed that it could work and then he left for home.

_"Tomorrow is going to be soo perfect, I'm finally going to become a country."_

He went over to his bed a laid down to rest. And as he drifted off to sleep he thought of everyone treating him the way he deserved to be. Like and equal.

**Wow that was long, I seem to be picking up a bad habit with doing this. I know I should be trying to tell a story and all but I can't help but feel I'm adding too much detail and not enough action. Well anyways please comment and review the story, even if its negative. anything to help me improve my writing. Thanks**


	5. Backfiring

**Hello everyone, I'm back and ready with another chapter for you. After reading some of your reviews I was surprised that they were all positive and had some very great criticisms. I really appreciate it. After reading your reviews and looking back on my stories, I found out that I had been jumping from third person to first person a few times and I hope to change that. So please enjoy :)**

The moment I was awake I ran from my bed to the kitchen, grabbed some cereal and ate it like it was my last meal on earth. Today was the day where I was going to become come a country, people were going to respect me and treat me like an equal. After going to the bathroom to stop the massive stomach ache I had from eating my Captain Crunch, I took a shower got dressed and was out the door.

It took a while to realize that it was five in the morning and that Berwald and Tino were more than likely just starting to wake up. It was just that I was so excited I couldn't stop running around, every moment waiting was excruciating and boring. I wanted to run into their room, body slam one of them and get there asses out of bed so that I can go on with the best day of my life.

Naturally I didn't tell them because what fun would that be? It would totally ruin the surprise and besides they would probably try to talk me out of it, or worse leave me behind like that time at the carnival. Oh sure they said they were going out to get something to eat and would come right back, but after a day of having nothing but carnie food you would assume that eating would be the last thing on your mind. Honestly I would think that being with them long enough would remind them they had a twelve year old son.

It was too bad Lilly and Raivis didn't come, it would have been a lot of fun with them. But I guess it was all for the best. Raivis said that if he were to go then Russia would either get angry and punish him or come along, which would mean that both Katyusha and the Natalia-man would come too and god forbid they stay sane for a few hours.

Lilly was no different, even if Vash did let her to go he would probably chaperone and would surely bring his guns and get us kicked out. Besides that if Lilly went then Elizaveta would somehow hear about it and bring her Austrian husband Roderich, which would more than likely piss off Vash and give Gilbert an excuse to come, which would grab the attention of Gilberts friends Antonio and Francis as well as Feliciano, who would drag both Ludwig and Kiku into the mix causing Alfred to show up and bring Arthur and Yao, who would invite the rest of the Asians in his family, then Russia would come because he's part Russian and part creeper which would draw in both his psychotic sister and the Baltic brothers, thus giving everyone and their damn grandma an excuse to show up. Yeah, Lilly was that popular and being around her had let me see the certain domino effect she has on everyone.

But I can't get hung up on the past now, not when today is very important. More important than the time we found Prussia diaries and thought about black mailing him. It would have been a good plan too. I would sneak into Germany's house with Raivis and Lily as back up, take the older German's diary, copy the contents, write them down in a separate book and then black mail him to do whatever I wanted. It would have been great if Lily wasn't there, guilt tripping me and Raivis until we left. I swear she can be such a goody-goody to the point where it gets to be too much. Half the time I do stupid things just to see if she'll play along which she never seems to do on account of her being afraid of disappointing her semi-psychotic gun toting big brother.

After what seemed to be hours of waiting, I couldn't find the patience to wait any more. Tino and Berwald had to get out of bed NOW or else I'm going to lose it. Walking to their room with confidence I was ready to carry out my plan, I had come too far now just to be stopped by my lazy parents.

" Rise and shine mom and dad it's time to get up"

Thankfully they had already been awake for awhile and had started to get out of bed before they noticed me.

"Peter dear why are you up so early? Is there something the matter?

Tino was staring at me with some concern in his eyes, I had always been known for sleeping in till ten before waking up so the idea of me being awake at six in the morning was strange. Even stranger the fact that I was so hyper.

"No mama I'm fine. I was just hoping you and dad could take me along to the world meeting with you."

Now I know for a fact that Tino didn't like be called mama but he was just so nice that I can't imagine him being anything less. He's certainly better then my real family, although I get along with some of them, mainly Alfred they still don't pay attention to me. Aine doesn't really enjoy my visits but at least she's somewhat nice about telling me to leave, unlike Arthur. Alistair is ok I guess but it seems he'd rather go drinking then looking after a kid. Dylan let's me watch T.V just so I won't bother him, so I guess he's ok. All in all, my family doesn't really care much about each other. We basically leave each other alone and call it good.

We tried having a family reunion once, America thought it'd be a good idea for all of us to meet in one room and hang out.

It didn't go very well.

There wasn't any time where we weren't arguing; surprisingly Arthur wasn't the one to start it. Aine got angry at Arthur for being mean to her in the past, while Arthur just told her to leave him alone. It seemed he knew what was going to happen so he tried to ignore it as long as possible. Ten minutes in everyone was fighting. Alfred kept making fun of Alistair's kilt, calling it a dress which caused the Scots face to turn as red as his hair. Aine was arguing with her twin Aedan for betraying her and going to Arthur. Arthur was telling me I wasn't a country and I kept telling him to suck eggs. Dylan was getting angry because nobody was paying attention to him and was trying to pick a fight with Alfred for whatever reason. By the end of it all everyone left with multiple bruises and black eyes. Not as bad as it could have been though, Arthur didn't get all emotional on everyone, so it could have been worse. But we all agreed that it was a pointless day and that we were never doing it again.

Lily was nice enough to take me to her family reunion. She was the one who thought of the idea and because nobody can say no to cute little Liechtenstein every German country gathered in one house to "talk".

Needless to say it didn't start off any better than my family did.

Vash and Roderich had started getting into an argument about money, Gilbert was teasing Elizaveta till he was hit with a frying pan and Ludwig was caught in the middle of all it trying in vain to keep order.

Once the beer was brought out things got better, everyone seemed more happy and got along very well. Even Lily had a few beers, being German gave her a high tolerance to alcohol unlike me who had gotten smashed around my third beer. I don't remember much but I think I had a really good time, a lot of laughing and joking. The last thing I remember was Lily taking her brother inside cause he had too much to drink, after that everything was a blur. That was the first time I had alcohol and after that my very first hangover; thank god Tino and Berwald didn't find out.

Berwald didn't seem to care much, he just stared at me for a minute before getting up and walking to the shower in their room. I've been with him for over a year and I still can't tell what he's thinking, his face always has the same scary look. He's like Norway except without the creepy Belarus complex he has with his brother Iceland.

It's nice to know that Natalia is becoming so popular with everyone; having scary stories and diseases named after her. Maybe in a few years she'll be ruler of all Mordor but for now she just a scary lady.

After a half-hour of waiting for my parents we were finally off to the world meeting. Mama said it was being held in Minsk, wherever that was. Didn't matter where we were going though, I had been up all night studying the spell and trying to figure out the exact moment to use it. It was either going to happen in the middle of Arthur's speech or Greece's in case there was trouble sneaking in. Hopefully all was going to go as planned, I was able to tell Raivis before I left so everything should go smoothly. All he has to do is help me sneak in and pretend to be surprised like the rest of them when I show up. Now there's nothing left to do except sit back and enjoy the plane ride to the meeting.

"Ah crap"

Well it didn't take long to figure out where Minsk was. If I'd know that it was the capital of the Natalia-man I would have thought this over, maybe waited until the next meeting? This was going to be a problem now. With everyone more tense and on edge then usual it'll be that much harder to break into the meeting, being in the same place hosted by the scariest lady in the world; not even Ludwig could walk in there with a cool head.

I'm in a plane right now with my parents and I can already see Tino shaking with fear. I don't know to weather be relieved that someone other than me is scared or worried that one of the people in charge of protecting me is about to freak out. Berwald is trying to keep his "wife" calm but it's not working so well. If anything he seems to be making the situation worse for the small finish man.

After getting our bags and heading to the hotel we were going to stay at it was time to head off to the meeting. To be honest the capital city looked nice when we were driving there. It almost let you forget you were in the country of a dangerous nut job...almost. Every country has its own charm I guess.

After a two hours of getting lost, trying to ask for directions, and getting even more lost we finally arrived at the embassy where the meeting was. I had everything I needed for my plan to work. The book, a cloak, and a game boy in case I get bored. Raivis said to make sure I had an exit plan in case things went wrong and to use the cape to hide my face until the spell worked. No sense in using a dud and having Berwald give me a spanking. Honestly you'd think someone would outlaw that sort of thing.

Oh well

The meeting started and immediately America decided to voice his opinion first. Something about his economy and global warming and communism. That last part was surprising but it was probably an insult to Ivan. A very costly move considering it was Ivan, even worse move with Natalia being the host. As a result America was not allowed to bring food into the meeting and couldn't have any of the donuts that were on the snack table. I guess even Natalia believes in being a good host.

Raivis was able to sneak us in by talking to Natalia about ways to kidnap Ivan. Of course Natalia took that as having someone trying to "steal" her brother from her. It cause a big enough seen to distract everyone.

_"Sorry Raivis. I owe you one"_

Too bad for him I remembered the time he ditched me at Arthurs place.

_"On second thought, never mind. Now we're even"_

It took Yekaterina and Lily to calm down the enraged Belarusian. Good thing too, Raivis looked like he was about to piss himself and it gave me enough time to sneak in under the table and hide.

Getting my cloak on and with book in hand I jumped up on the table right in the middle of Arthur's speech. I was right next to Ivan and Yekaterina so that no one would come close enough to get me down. I'm sure this was all entertaining to the Russian man anyways.

_"Oh god I hope this works."_

All at once everyone looked at me. Arthur looked angry that someone interrupted him but he was just as surprised as everyone else to do anything.

Without thinking I started to chant the words

" Jacquelyn Toya, Tito, Mary,

Dumble Dora the Explora

Lenin, Sawyer, Ringo, Hasting

Dumble Dora the Explora

Margret Thatcher, Izzard, Harry,

Dumble Dora the Explora

I curse you with cramping in your sides

Until your pains are satisfied."

A bright light appeared a nearly blinded everyone. The room started to shake and the loud high pitched noise rang out. After a few minutes it finally stopped, nothing but the red mist covering the floor.

Arthur was the first to jump up.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!"

His face was still in a piss mood but now he had a reason other than having Francis grope him. Thank god I had a cloak on or else I'd be screwed.

"PETER GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, I KNOW IT WAS YOU"

_"Crap"_

Well so much for being unnoticed.

"Yes it is I, Sealand. Fear my awesome power and kickass entrance. Now you all must accept me as a country or else fear my wrath."

The room went quite, no sound was heard other then the wind from a random window that was apparently open. They simply stared at the small kid on the table interrupting their meeting. Grant it nobody ever accomplished anything in these things but it was still a matter of maturity. Even if it was mildly entertaining.

Surprisingly Italy was the first to respond.

"Ve~ anybody want to siesta? I can make pasta"

I'm always amazed how Italy can think of anything at all. I'm just a kid and I probably make more sense than he does. But it looks like its grabbing everyone's attention, now make my awesome escape.

_"Great I sound like Prussia now."_

I turned and tried to jump over Ivan's head, hoping to use the giant man as a temporary interference. Unfortunately because of his ginormous size I ended up kneeing the man right in the nose and falling over on my face. I can already hear America laughing his ass off right now.

"HA HA HA RUSSIA GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD MY A LITTLE KID, THATS BADASS HA HA HA HA"

Strangely the Russian man was silent for a minute, like he was trying to process what just happen. The same with Natalia and her sister, both had a look of complete confusion.

Katyusha stood up, her expression of something I never believed was possible. A angry scowl surrounded by a dark purple aura.

"Kolkolkolkolkol"

_"What the he-"_

My train of thought was cut off from tall Ukrainian woman standing over me. She was much more intimidating than her brother ever was. I could see Natalia angry too, though that was nothing different she seemed to keep her distance away from her sister. Shit was about to go down and I was getting caught in the middle of it.

Without warning I felt be lifted in the air till I was at eye level with the woman. What I saw nearly made crap myself. Her eyes were filled with incredible rage, worse than Arthur was. I tried looking around the room so I didn't have to look her in the eye anymore. All the other countries were afraid. Not just of her but of all the other female nations.

Yao and the rest of his brothers were backing away from their two sisters. Somehow they were able to sneak in a giant oar and two swords into the meeting. The weirdest part was where exactly did the two female nation hid those things.

_"How did no body catch that?!"_

Belgium had starting walking toward Lars, Antonio, and Romano with the same look as Yekaterina. I have never seen Lars cry but he looked like he was close. Romano was already crying and Antonio was doing a bad job trying to act brave.

Elizaveta had started giving Gilbert a demented smile and had pulled out her frying pan; if I had to guess what the Prussian was thinking it would be along the line of _"This is so NOT awesome."_

Even little Liechtenstein had started giving off a bad vibe. Vash stood up and was starting to back away, along with the other German nations. Roderich had gotten behind Ludwig along with Gilbert. Only Vash was standing next to Ludwig but even though the Swiss man had a gun he still looked terrified.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY LITTLE BOY YOU BITCH"

I look over and see mama walking towards me. The look in his eyes is twice as scary as papa's. I know he's strong, one of the very few people that Ivan has been unable to beat. This is going to be one hell of a fight and I get a front row seat.


	6. The Beatdown

**Hello everyone, it's nice to be writing again. I'm catching up in my Spanish so I have more time to work on the story. I've already had the ending figured out yet and some minor hilarity in this chapter but that's up to you to decide what's funny. Anyways I do not own Hetalia or any rights pertaining to it in any form. With that out of the way, please enjoy :)**

You know when I woke up this morning I was so happy to finally become a country. There was going to be a celebration, some laughs, some cries and some insults at Arthur for being British. But I'm pretty sure that a country fighting free-for-all during a meeting wasn't something I was imagining when I was eating my Captain Crunch this morning.

"YOU BITCH, I WILL SNAP YOUR ASS IN TWO IF YOU DON'T LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!"

Oh yeah and there was that.

After I cast the spell all the girls in the room started going crazy. I mean what the hell?! Now I'm being held up to the face of an absolutely pissed Ukrainian woman while my "mama" is trying to save me. Some kids get embarrassed when their moms fight their battles for them but considering that my "mom" is actually a man who can go up against Ivan and kick his ass, I'm not so sure I care.

"BAM!"

I didn't even have time to think before I was thrown across the room into something hard. Actually, It wasn't that hard but it still hurt. I didn't feel any bruises or anything, now that I look at myself, I can't find a single scratch on me.

"_What the hell did I hit?"_

I look up to see that "something" is a now unconscious Sadik and a dent in the wall where his head hit. If I wasn't terrified, I would have felt bad for the Turkish man. Looking around the room I try to figure out what in the world is going on. There are countries up against the wall scared, some are on the ground unconscious, others are running around screaming and some are actually being thrown across the room. I swear I just saw Francis fly for a minute there.

"What the hell is going on?!"

This was complete insanity, it was like watching pro wrestling, except this was real.

"_Where's mama?!"_

I can't believe I forgot about the man who's trying to save my life. The last time I saw him he was yelling at Katyusha to let me go. Although I'm pretty sure he wouldn't feel too bad for the hurt Sadik, not many people do. Strange considering he's actually a semi-nice guy, nicer than Arthur but just as serious and a little bit scary with his mask on. I can see why Hercules doesn't like him so much.

_"Where is he anyways?"_

I look around the room and try to find the cat loving man, only to find him sleeping in his seat.

_"How the hell is that even possible?"_

Now normally finding the Greek man asleep wouldn't be a surprise. Hiding under the table during these meetings lets me listen to what's going on and who the countries are and I noticed two things about the cat lover. One, that he is always sleeping and two he's always picking a fight with Sadik. Usually one leads to the other in some way. This guy must take one giant chill pill to sleep through this madness, even the normally stoic Hong Kong looked nervous. At least I think he looks nervous, either that or he's constipated.

_"Wait, why do I care about some sleeping guy? There's a fight going on!"_

I realized I haven't been paying attention to what's going on, even though it happening all round me.

_"I'm beginning to think I have ADD."_

I scan the room looking for Tino and Berwald. Tino could be easily overlooked because he was short but Berwald was very tall, so you'd think it be easy to find him. With all the nations running around and getting assaulted it was hard trying to find my parents. They were more than likely with the other Nordic nations. All I had to do was find one of them and it'll probably lead me to mama and papa.

Finally after ducking a weaving around the room I finally found the youngest of the ice nations in the corner of the room. Emil was back up against the wall, his loyal bird perched on his head looking just as scared as the rest of nations. His big brother Lukas was in front of him, trying to protect his little brother from psychotic female nations. Mathias wasn't far away either, apparently he had the courage to stand up to the crazy girls and was swinging his ax back in forth to keep them at bay. However, this wasn't able to stop Monaco from throwing a chair and hitting the Dane in the face. He didn't fall but his nose was bleeding and it didn't look like he could keep going if this continued.

"Where's mama?!"

The Norwegian turned to me, his face surprisingly the same, only with a small frown. He didn't say a word to me but instead pointed across the room. I turned to the direction his finger was pointing and was able to find both mama and papa, fighting for their lives.

Mama was still fighting Katyusha, the big breasted woman was relentless on trying to hit him. Tino tried to throw a punch but Katyusha blocked and was able to counter it with a knee to the stomach. It knocked the wind right out of him, letting her punch him in the side of the head.

Papa wasn't doing much better than his "wife." Natalia had lost Ivan in the commotion and let the him escape. Still angry over losing her brother, she decided to help her sister in the fight. Now most would assume that papa was a good fighter, being able to survive in the harsh winter made him strong. However, Berwald strength was not what it appeared to be. It was true he was more powerful than both Iceland and Norway but when it came to Matthias and Tino, Berwald was seriously lacking. From my end it looked like my father was getting beaten. Natalia was using her fist instead of her knives and was, as Alfred would say, "opening a can of woop-ass" on him.

It was kind of sad for me. Having a feminine "mom" stronger than a scary "dad." It let me see how truly strange my family was, including my relation to the English nations. I was lucky that none of them go to these meetings, or else Aine would have tried to kill Arthur and to a small degree Alfred. Hopefully papa and mama can hurry up with the two girls because I think most of the other male nations ran away. If anymore leave than the rest of the ladies are going to focus all there evil on my parents.

All of the Slavic nations were gone and so were the Spanish Nations plus Lars. The German nations were trying to hold their ground, with the exception of Gilbert, who was running away from Elizaveta's frying pan of doom. Little Lily still had a crazy look on her face and was holding a M16 in her hands. Vash just stood there in shock as she pointed the gun at Ludwig who was trying to protect Roderich.

_"Where did she get an M16?! Where is everyone keeping these things?!"_

At some point the Lichtenstein girl had taken the gun from her big brother and was now holding the rest of the Germans hostage. The Asians weren't doing any better than the Germans. Even though none of the females had guns, the men couldn't bring themselves to hurt their sisters. No matter how bad they were getting beaten.

Kiku, being the ninja that he is was able to avoid getting noticed and slip out without being noticed. Yao was able to dodge most of the attack but having to protect both Hong and Im Young Soo stopped him from escaping. Realizing there was no chance of escape, Hong turned to his brother and stared at him, thinking of wither or not he should go through with his plan.

"Im Young, I have a plan but you're going to have to forgive me for it."

The Korean boy turned to his brother with a confused look on his face. He was going to question why he would need to forgive his brother before Hong grabbed the hem of his pants and ripped them down along with his underwear. This had apparently grabbed the at attention of the rest of the Asian family.

"THIS WAS MADE IN CHINA!"

Hong yelled before sprinting to the nearest exit. His brothers and sister staring in horror at the sight in front of them. Both of the girls faces were going between the obviously disturbed Yao and the thoroughly humiliated Im Young Soo. China was wide eyed and had his mouth hung open, just the idea of what Hong Kong has said was enough for the rest of the Asians and the tiny micro nation to think "what the fuck?" The Korean country was the first to react.

"HONG, YOU SUNOVA BITCH GET BACK HERE!"

Im Young shouted pulling his pants up and running out the same door Hong left through. The remaining Asians stared at the door Im Young had just ran through. After a few seconds of delay the two woman once again turned their attention to their older brother, their eyes revealing more anger than before. Slowly both girls walked forward, cutting off any escape route the elder nation had. Both raised their weapon above, having all intension to strike down their brother. Suddenly Im Young ran back into the room.

Standing in the door way and pulling down his pants he yelled

"OH AND BY THE WAY, THIS WAS MADE IN KOREA DA-ZE~"

The Korean then turned around and waddled out the door with his pants below his ankles, yelling of Hong Kong to come back so he could kill him. Once again the Asian nation had a full front few of their little brother package and were completely speechless.

"What the hell is wrong with him aru?"

The Chinese man stood there for a second wondering where exactly he went wrong with his family before noticing his sister were distracted. Without a second to lose he did some awesome kung fu flip over them and ran out the same door as his brothers had. China had never been so happy to see his little brothers penis, something that disturbed him a great deal.

After witnessing that entertaining event and being mentally scared for life, I turned around to see what was happening to my parents.

It was still an epic battle with neither end letting up. The Russia sister were punching, scratching, biting and using everything they had. My parents were trying their best but it didn't look like they were going to last for much longer. Tino had bruises all over his face with a busted lip. Berwald was worse off than he was, with scratches and cuts on the left side of his face with a black eye on his right. I had to do something, those girls looked like they were out for blood and my parents were lucky enough to be within view.

_"Oh man I better get something out of this."_

I ran over to Natalia as fast as I can, building up enough speed to jump and grab her hair.

"AHHH YOU LITTLE SHIT. I"LL MAKE YOU RE REGRET EVER BEING A SPERM SWIMMING AROUND YOUR DAD NUT-SAC"

_"What the fuck?!That's just mean."_

Luckily it gave Berwald enough an opening to deck that bitch across the face. He must have been pissed because she went down and he made sure she didn't get back up. I have never seen him angry. He was scary but never gave off the impression that he was out to hurt someone, unlike Ivan. But now, as he towered over the down Belarusian girl, emitted an dark aura that was the same as Russia's.

"You will regret talking to my son like that."

His voice was calm, but has never been scarier. As he stood over her, he leaned down and flexed his fist in front of her face, just to show her what was coming. With his knees on either side of her body he thrusted his fist into her gut, knocking the wind right out of her. After that Berwald seemed hell bent on beating the poor country. Blow after blow she was hit without mercy, blood flowing out of her nose. My dad was so focused on hitting her that he didn't notice the Lichtenstein girl aim her M16 and fire.

Bullets rang out in the conference room creating holes in the walls. Both Hercules and Sadik woke up from their pleasant sleep to find a room filled with angry women and bullet holes in the walls. However it was too little too late for them, the others girls that were in the rooms set on them like vultures. I couldn't even look in their direction, just hear the sounds as they were mercilessly assaulted. Berwald was lucky that Lily sucked at shooting cause it didn't seem like anything hit him. He ran over to me and ducked behind the under the table to avoid the bullets, all the while Tino was still going at it with Katyusha.

Tino was stuck in a full nelson and was getting held down with all the weight of Ukraine's breasts.

"MAMA!"

My voice echoed through the room, his eyes locked onto mine with a small smile on his face. In a burst of strength he elbowed her in the chest and turned around to grab her boobs.

"You know there is a sport in Finland that I'm very good at. You want to know what it is?" His hands clamping down harder on the woman boobs. With enough strength he started to spin Katyusha faster and faster in the air using her breasts as the grip point

"COMPETITVE BITCH TOSS!"

With all that he threw her across the room, knocking down several of the other girls, including Lily.

"RUN"

Tino grabbed Berwald and me from the floor and we both booked it out of the room. I could hear something being yelled in German. I can only guess that it was Ludwig and the others because it was too deep to be Lily's. We ran so fast through the exit that the doors almost seem to break and made a dash for the car.

Berwald was looking franticly for the keys and Tino was freaking out and telling him to hurry up. I turn around in time to see Ludwig run out of the building. Roderich was in the door way out of breath. All at once I saw him getting pulled back in by one of the girls, holding onto the door and to keep himself from being sucked in.

"LUDWIG! HELP!"

He pleaded from his fellow German to come and save him from the rabid monsters that are the female nations. Ludwig stood there for a moment before and turning back to his car and driving off.

"YOU ASSHOLE~"

His voice seemed to echo as he was finally dragged back into the building. Bella ran out a few seconds before Roderich disappeared and automatically noticed as. Like a bat out of hell she ran toward us, immediately followed by a few of the others.

"Fuck it"

I picked up a rock that was nearby and threw it at the window, breaking it and allowing me to unlock the doors. Berwald finally found the moment to find the missing keys just as we were all in the car. The girls had already caught up to us and stated jumping on the car to try to break their way in. Monaco was trying to get in through I just made and is trying to bite me. Berwald wasted no time shifting the car in reverse, knocking off some of the girls that were on the hood, than through the car in gear and drove off. Monaco held on to the door as we sped off, trying to claw her way in.

" Get. Off. Our. Car."

I kicked her with every word but she still held on. She must be made of iron or something because it looks like I didn't even hurt her. In a flash I felt her hand grab around my collar, I screamed and started punching her in the face to let go.

"PETER!"

Tino turned around to see the crazed lady to drag me out with her. I had to get her off me no matter what. Struggling I open the car door so that she was hanging out the side. Tino had been able to pry her hand off me so now all we had to do was knock this bitch off. I felt the car swerve for a moment knocking me toward the open door. Too bad for Monaco that it was right next to a stop sign.

*kink*

The sound of body hitting metal as she fell off the car, along with the door. Hell better her than me. Now that that's over I have one more thing to do. Try to explain why I shouldn't get a spanking for what happened. God hope that I can come up with something before we get to the hotel.

I see Tino turn over to me. His face back to his normal happy self.

_"Please no, don't talk t about it now"_

"Now Peter. I think we to have a little chat about what happened. hmm?"

_" Oh~ fuck"_

**Hey guys, I'm sorry that I've neglected the story for so long. Believe me it wasn't my intention, but with school in all I sort of forgot about it. Now that the quarter is over (actually it's been over for awhile) I can get back to the story. Please review, like, bitch, complain and give any criticism you want. So long as it helps me be a better writer than its fine. I want the brutal truth. Anyways thanks for reading and I hope to finish the story as quick as possible. Thank you.**


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